Dear Girls,
I realise that this is quite a contentious subject for a guy to talk about, and something I obviously have absolutely no experience with because I am a guy. But as an outsider looking in, I just thought it might be worth giving my experience at least, and leave it completely up to you whether you value it, or think it's utterly stupid and irrelevant.
Okay, here goes nothing.
I am writing this letter because of the ridiculous amount of pressure that all girls seem to be under about their body image. Even though it would appear that on a local level the pressure doesn't appear to be that great, the fact is that media seems to have an obsession nowadays with weight, and how people look. In the ridiculous world of celebrities, women are judged solely on their weight, about whether they are too fat or too skinny. And then in even in the real world, there is so much talk about eating disorders, and problems like anorexia and obesity seem to be talked about almost every day.
Almost everyone has an opinion on this, and as a result of the mass media coverage, there seems to be this idea that has evolved over the past couple of years that you shouldn't be ashamed of who you are, and that you should be comfortable in your own body, regardless of what size you are. This is also not okay. If someone is highly overweight, or severely underweight, then it is not okay to be happy in your own body, and you need to change something or you could have some serious health problems later in life. But that's another topic that's not the point of this letter. What's really the point of this letter is how the average guy (me) is attracted to girl's based, not on their body image, but their attitude towards their body image.
Two dates that I have been on in the last 6 months;
The first one was a set up by two mutual friends. Her name was Caroline* and she was incredibly hot. I'd actually been dying to score her for months so was delighted when she agreed to going for a drink. We met in Pygmalion in town and spent about 3 hours chatting. When I first got there I actually found it hard to speak she was so hot. Tall, great hair, great skin, just really pretty. By the end of the three hours I honestly wanted to jam a straw in my eye. She talked about how she hasn't eaten a carb in 2 years, how she lives on basically skittles, popcorn and diet coke, how the price of her extensions has gone up and how annoying it is to have guys stare at her constantly. Guys were staring, sure, and I would have swapped places with any of of them. She was vain and conceited and had absolutely no respect for her body. Highly unattractive. Never saw her again.
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The second one, lets call her Susie*, was a Tinder date. It started off shaky because she was a good bit heavier than her photos so I was pretty taken aback. We went and got Ice Cream on the pier and ended up having an absolute ball. She had a real care free attitude that I loved but she was also totally focused in College, very confident in her intelligence and just a really good laugh. She made reference to her weight by saying that she'd had knee surgery and so hadn't been running in about 4 months but that she couldn't wait to get back to it. She said exercise kept her sane and she really missed it since the operation. She said she couldn't believe how quickly she'd put on the weight because she's never really had a problem with it before but obviously it was always the activity that kept it down. To be honest, at that point, my initial response to her appearance had melted away and I was now looking at a completely different girl. This girl was funny, smart and unbelievably attractive.
We've been together 6 months now and she's pretty much the greatest thing that's ever happened to me.
When it boils down to it, any decent guy isn't attracted to a girl because of their body. They might be initially, of course, but it won't last very long if they have a shit attitude towards it. Skipping meals, cutting out carbs, sugar free everything. That's not respect for your body, that's just vanity and honestly, to me, it looks ignorant and just plain stupid. But if a girl has the ambition to improve themselves, and whether that be trying to lose some weight, trying to gain some weight, trying to get fit or just trying to be healthier on the whole, that is a much more attractive quality to have than just to be skinny. And I'm sure the exact same would be true if the roles were reversed.
Yours Faithfully,
The Guy Who Really Hopes He Didn't Offend Anyone
*Names changed
