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A Beginners Guide On How To Speak Kildare

A Beginners Guide On How To Speak Kildare

Ah Kildare. The birth place of some of Ireland's gems including Christy Moore, Arthur Guinness and the Irish lad in Harry Potter. We may not have made it to an All-Ireland final since 1928 but if there's one thing we are blessed with it's the ability to chat and to chat sh*te. With this gift of the gab comes the ability to not only put a fine bogger shpin on the most well known Irish phrases, we even churn out a few of our own. Gather round till we learn ya how to understand the art of the Kildare language. May you one day walk among the Lilywhites and put these to good use.

Meetin'

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More commonly referred to as 'shifting' by our Dublinese neighbours (or 'scoring' to those south of the city). Meetin' comes with two definitions

Meetin - the act kissing someone. For example,

"Emma was meetin' your man in the middle of The Court last night!"

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Meetin - another term for seeing someone, but you are not in fact "official". For example,

"Are Siobhan and Rob going out yet? Nah they're just meetin'."

Loose

When someone refers to a night or a situation as being "loose" they mean that the night or situation in question was absolutely wild. This can have both good and bad meanings, but you can rest assure that whatever went down, it is not a suitable for Mammy's ears. For example,

"How was the session last night lad?"

"It got fairly loose, fairly quick..."

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Dose

If Love Island had of been set in Kildare they would have been calling every eejit a "dose" instead of a "melt". Dose refers to any undesirable individual who is loud, attention seeking and generally a bit of a d*ck.

"That Mike fella is the greatest dose I ever met"

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Solih

Derived from the word "solid", this word is used to respond to embarrassing comments made by another individual in an attempt to cute them down for size. For example,

"UP THE DUBS!"

"Solih mate."

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Scenes

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Most of you may already be familiar with this term and the good people of Cill Dara are adamant that we are the originators of said phrase. "Scenes" refers to quality of an evening or event that has/is taking place.

"It was scenes" - Last night was good

"It was absolute scenes" - Last night was feckin' class

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Flat Out

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If someone is flat out, it means they are either insanely busy or they are doing the bare minimum but want you to think that they are insanely busy. It can be a difficult one to determine, but estimated guesses can be made whether the person in question is a dose or not.

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Wouldn't be

Another one of our terms with a double meaning. "Wouldn't be" is commonly used as an abbreviation for "Wouldn't be into that". In other words, "I don't agree with this" or "I don't want to do that". In other cases, one may describe an individual as a "Wouldn't be". A "Wouldn't be" isn't too dissimilar to a dose, but could be deemed a little less harsh because you just "wouldn't be into them".

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Also Read: 15 Of The Scariest Things About Growing Up In An Irish Household

Lauren Cassidy

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