If you haven't seen The Wolf Of Wallstreet I mean, c'mon - have you been living in a monks pocket?
In anticipation of The Real Wolf of Wall Street, Jordan Belfort, coming to Dublin with the College Times, we have set out a few guidelines to follow to be more like “Wolfy.” The American motivational speaker and former stockbroker was ordered to pay $110 million in restitution fees for his time at Stratton Oakmont, but has made quite a name for himself with his book, and is now sharing his sales secrets with the public in a number of global motivational speeches.
On Tuesday May 27th, Belfort will bring his highly successful sales and entrepreneurship live seminar ‘The Truth Behind The Success Of The Real Life Wolf of Wall Street” to Dublin’s RDS.
Tickets are selling fast so if you want to get your hands on one visit Ticketmaster now!
Here is the way you can be your own Jordan Belfort but on a students budget.
Making it rain Monopoly money. Stuff your wallet with it. Roll around your bed in it. Light your cigarettes with it. It's very realistic looking!
Sadly Quaadludes are no longer among us and other drugs are expensive but you want a good buzz. Well, Belfort had money and could 'On a daily basis' 'consume enough drugs to sedate Manhattan, Long Island, and Queens for a month.' He would take 'Quaaludes 10-15 times a day for [his] "back pain", Adderall to stay focused, Xanax to take the edge off, pot to mellow [himself] out, cocaine to wake [himself] back up again, and morphine... Well, because it's awesome.' For little old you however, try TK Red Lemonade and a few packets of skittles. Taste the rainbow.
Nah, prostitutes are not affordable on a student income, not the ones you want anyway, also in Ireland they're gross. (Apparently). Take that Monopoly money and fling it out your car window as you drive around town... with your Mum.
It might just be good to get a job on a boat or be sneaky and just take a picnic down to the docks and sit in the nearest vacant vessel. Make sure you instagram as much as possible while you're on it.
5. Smoking Hot Girlfriend/Wife...
Margot Robbie is so hot and I'm sure some of her scenes were playing on loop in your head for days or you just hit the mental pause button and about a million times. Unfortunately Margot Robbie is one of a kind and girls like her don't grow on trees but you will find a lovely lady in your local pub who I'm sure won't mind reenacting some of your favorite scenes.
Helicopter thrills can be found on the top deck of any two deck bus. Get the front window and you'll see what I'm talking about.
7. Pool Parties
Don't have a pool? Buy a plastic one, they provide hours of fun and no one will know the difference. Honestly.