Nation Livid Storm Brian Didn't Wait Until Monday Like Ophelia

"What's that!? In the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane?" No it is yet another Atlantic storm-system here to batter our shores.

I am not here to say that either of the storms that have recently buffeted Ireland have been anything other than terrible things. I am just here to say that, seeing as their presence has been an unfortunate fact of life, it seems the very least they could do is have the decency to arrive at a reasonably convenient time for the country.

Ophelia got the gist. Ophelia knew what was up. She showed us the courtesy of - despite knowing that her presence would be unremittingly tragic - waiting until Monday to arrive so that there would at least be the possibility of the nation's infrastructure being ground to a halt, with a hiatus put on all educating, working and anything in between.

Storm Brian on the other hand, is a weapons-grade bell-end by comparison. Though he appears to blow with less vim and gust with less vigour than Ophelia, he has arrived all over our coveted weekend. He is the unwelcome house guest who has heard of the party happening, but despite receiving no actual invitation of his own, has decided to show his face anyway.

Had he waited until Monday too to wreak his blustery nuisance, there is the possibility we may have seen some tangible benefit from him, in the way of public closures. As it is, no; he has simply conspired to utterly piss all over our weekend. Looking to go for a relaxing walk? Not if Brian has anything to say about it. Fancy going to that local country fair you've heard so much about? Almost certainly not as all of the gazebos have no doubt been blown into some trees and a gust has pushed the donkey from the 'ride the donkey' stall off a cliff into the ocean. Brian is here to scupper all of your plans and limit your options for potential outdoor activities this weekend to a list that just reads "being taken to the damp-zone by Brian".

It's a fierce prickish move from Brian.