How To Not Dress Like A Dickhead In College

So you don't want to look like a dickhead? Well, 21st century fashion dictates that beauty is only fabric deep. So it's time to sort those threads out man. Would you date a girl who looked like an oil spill trying to escape a jacket potato? Probably not. So maybe you shouldn't continue to dress like a turd. Here are some ways to help you not dress like a dickhead.

1. Don't Wear Anything Flared/Frayed

I'm not generally the type of guy to follow trends but for God's sake get something skinny leg. Bigger guys think they look ridiculous with any kind of skinny leg trousers, but they look even more ridiculous with flared or frayed wide bottom jeans. Get. It. Together. John Travolta called, he wants his trousers, his dignity, and his acting career back.

2. Don't Wear Crocs

Ever. Like, even when you're chilling at home getting blazed watching Captain America: The Winter Soldier (actually very good) don't wear crocs. For real though fucking never wear those things they're fashion AI.

3. Don't Wear Shorts And Sandles In November

These guys piss me off so much. Clearly they were off on a "lads holiday" where they stocked up on Abercrombie shorts and vests and really connected with the look. Any excuse to get the "holiday bro" look going is jumped at. When everyone else is wrapped in scarves and gloves and you're flexing to stay warm in open foot sandals and cotton shorts... You really need to consider the validity of your life.


4. Don't Wear Jerseys Into Clubs

Wearing a Leinster or Man Utd jersey into a club says "I literally have no fashion sense and potentially have no shirts with which to test that hypothesis."  You look like a fourteen-year-old going to his first junior disco to fiddle with bras and have a Lucozade-induced sugar rush. Get your shit together and get some real fucking clothes pal.

5. Find Clothes To Suit Your Body Shape

This one's surprisingly important. I'm not talking about ill-fitting clothes here. That's up next. Nah, I'm talking about getting clothes that suit the style of your body. If you're built like a brick shithouse then wearing tiny t-shirts makes you look like a dickhead. If you're skinny as fuck then wearing a baggy t-shirt can similarly make you look like a total idiot.

Women have all their fruit and veg nonsense, pear shaped, apple shaped etc etc. Fuck all that. You'll know what fits well. Find out the style that suit your shape and to be honest, stick to it.



6. Get Clothes That Fucking Fit

Leave the most important point until last. Even if your clothes are a bit shit, a decent fit can save you from looking like a total dick. Honestly. If you have great looking pants, but they're too big then you're as well off having no pants at all. Maybe? Find out your exact measurements and try shit on before you pay for it.

Know what looks good on a C.V? Published work! If you’re interested in joining the College Times team, please email us, we’d love to hear from you! [email protected]



Jack Cahill
Article written by
Jack is a recent UCD English & Film graduate. He has an uncanny ability to disappear for weeks at a time in order to embrace the introvert within. Between writing,watching films and cursing like a drunk sailor he lives life to the fullest by doing nothing that could be considered interesting in almost any capacity whatsoever.

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