How Not To Be Such A Tragic Loser

Here at College Times, we understand it's hard to be this cool. We know this because we've encountered an awful lot of knob-jockeys in our day. Do you know someone who is painfully uncool and in need of assistance? What luck! Our guide on how not to be such a tragic loser will sort 'em right out. With our help, they may one day be as awesome as this guy:

1) Stop being so uptight so people can relax around you.

2) Don't make shit up about people.

3) Don't make shit up about yourself.

4) Don't be so close-minded.

5) On the other hand, don't push your bullshit ideas on people.

6) Stop acting like you don't give a shit about anything and actually grow the fuck up.

7) Stop talking about cars all the time. Just go ahead and marry one if you love 'em so much.

8) Stop talking about fantasy role-playing games all the time. No one care if you're Seven 7 Dwarf.

9) Stop talking about sex all the time. Life's not all about depraved sex acts, you know?

10) Stop talking about yourself all the time. Narcissists are the biggest losers of all.