I am no longer a beady eyed fresher living in a rose tinted world where the biggest commitment I had finding the shift on a night out. Fresh from the chains of the dreaded L.C. your first year of college is a year you will never forget. From Culchies getting their first taste of Nandos to townies mourning there sorrows in a portion of Supermacs garlic cheese chips, during your first year of college you explore your inner self. Although only a mere month into second year I feel the cynicism of third level education come over me. Whilst last year I felt like a little tadpole ready to involve myself is every aspect of college life this year I feel like a 100 year old tortoise reeling in the year that seems like a lifetime ago.
Now that I’m ‘so much’ older, wiser, braver and better looking may I add, I, the Salmon of knowledge offer my advice to you unworldly youngsters.
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College hours.
‘I was in school last year from 9 till 4 every day, this year I’ve only two 9am starts, this’ll be a hoot’… Ohhhhh but how wrong you are! The fact that you have only two 9am starts is justifiably more of a reason to not attend those lectures. Last year I whole heartedly convinced myself that due to the fact that all my lectures started at 11am apart from one 9am lecture, if I attended that 9am lecture is would simply mess up my body clock and I’d be fecked for the rest of the week. No word of a lie, when my alarm went off at 7am I would lay in bed and pep talk myself into not attending college. What advice would I offer up on the grounds of this I hear you say? Well... it would be far too hypocritical or simply cruel of me to urge you to attend all your lectures. that is quite simply, never going to happen! Instead, keep a track of the lectures you missed and try not to miss 2 weeks in a row. Or even better, find yourself a group of freshers in your class as unenthusiastic as you and work out a rotational system. Every fourth week you go to the lecture, sign their names and take notes and other three you engulf yourself in Netflix and let it be done for you.
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Saving money.
It’s no secret that 70% of your money will go on alcohol so here are some handy money saving tips.
Number 1: If you are a country bumkin and go home at the weekends you are in luck! RAID YOUR HOUSE FOR ALL IT’S WORTH. I’m talking beans, leftover dinners, milk, bread, anything you can get your greasy little fingers on, take!
Numbero 2: Around the city there are always art expos going on, you know what this means? Free Wine. If your wallet is as tight as your PJs after Crimbo dinner ditch the pre-drinks and get your art on.
Finally, get to know your long lost relatives that happen to live beside your college. I feel so bad saying this but unbeknownst to my parents, last year I use to go to my nanas once a week, have myself a whopper meal and earn a sneaky tenner in the process. On an afternoon where vodka has drained not only your liver and dignity but also your bank account a place you can go for a guarantee free meal is like heaven on earth.
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Make good connections.
Becoming best friends with your college doctor is a must. They are, one of the only sure fine ways to get out of an exam or receive an extension on that assignment. A sick note from your doctor is more valuable than a ticket to Willie Wonkas chocolate factory. Hold them dear to your heart and never ever let them go…
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Don't get fat!
All your hard work has paid off, you feel independence running through your blood, you pack up all your belongings bound for campus accommodation. Next thing you know you're drinking more vodka than water, eating more burritos than fruit or veg and returning home before heading to McDs or a greasy equivalent simply NEVER happens. It creeps up on you, one pound, 2 pounds, 10 pounds, next thing you know your debs dress won’t even fit one leg. Several months after the infamous occasion of my jeans bursting open at work it finally hit me that surviving on a diet of M&S cookies, mashed potatoes & gravy and vodka was simply, not sustainable. So please, all you naive freshers with your LC holiday bodies and toned skin, let this be a lesson learned, if the fat content exceeds the hours of lectures you have a week, AVOID!!
Once you live by these essential yet simple rules I have no doubt you’re college years will be filled with joy and happiness. There are only a few short years on ones life where they are allowed away with murder and first year is where it all starts! Go nuts, try things you never have before, make friends but most importantly enjoy it!!
