To The Girl With A Broken Heart,
Fuck, things seriously suck right now don't they? I know, I know, some days aren't as horrendously bad as others. This is a good sign. The worst part of the day is the split second after you wake up when everything comes flooding back to you. I'm sure you won't believe it now, but one day this won't happen anymore.
I was nineteen when my heart was broken. It was a painfully long time coming but the day it actually happened, my world blurred and nothing seemed to make sense anymore. But I'm here to tell you this: Having your heart broken is one of the best thing that could ever happen to anybody.
Think hard. Shove your ego and pride to one side for a second. Were you really happy? Were you both the best people you could be together? Being alone is better than being with someone who makes you miserable right? While I was mourning my first love, this quote saved me.
“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.
A soul mate's purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life…”
Be your own soul mate. You're in your 20s, your life is only beginning and it has so many challenging and exciting things in store for you. Don't waste your time consumed by regret for something you can't change.
Please, please, please don't carry any form of guilt. It will eat away at you and you will never truly move on and be happy if you do. So..."Forgive yourself. Nothing is ever just you. If you feel that more kindness is needed, spill that out in the world as an apology to your ex. Pay a toll for the guy behind you, help that little old lady pump her petrol. Do these kindnesses in his honour."
Some people find it easier to just banish their exes from memory and act as though they never existed. That is so unhealthy because you're bottling up toxic emotions. Take things at your own pace. Grieve. Cry. Reminisce. Then try to replace every thought you have of them with a different, happy one. Grab onto those lessons that you've learned! They are priceless pieces of information to take with you as you journey through life. You know the depths of your ugly flaws and the soaring heights of your luminous magnificence.
Just because your relationship fell apart doesn't mean what you had together wasn't real. You might have been a couple of kids, but that doesn't mean what you felt for each other wasn't real. If it truly was then you will both know that and will forever have a piece of them embedded in you because they have had such a huge influence on the person you're meant to become. The most important people you'll ever know are the ones who are still teaching you long after they've left. I've been incredibly lucky to have that in my life, and now you do too. For that alone, all of the hurt, the anger, the raw pain, the guilt...it was worth it. And it will be for you too.
Just think, one day, the person you're meant to be with will be so happy that things didn't work out with an old ex. And very importantly - don't hold onto the thought of getting back together. If that's meant to be, it'll find a way. Just enjoy being with yourself. Get to know you, what you can do to better yourself and what you really want in life.
Take care of yourself,
The Girl Who Was Once You.
Credit: The Mom's View