Killing A Sacred Cow: 6 Reasons Maniac 2000 Is Shite

Killing A Sacred Cow: 6 Reasons Why 'Maniac 2000' Is Utter Shite

I know that this stance could potentially put my life in danger, but I'm willing to make the sacrifice regardless.

Maniac 2000 by Mark McCabe is shite.

Now before you ready your pitchforks and light up those torches, let's break down why:

1.The Screaming Of The Crowd

In every version of the song that I've found, we can hear the grating screaming of hundreds of what I can only assume are pre-pubescent girls. I'm all for live versions of songs but all this conjures up is a sweaty dance floor full of sexually frustrated teens.

2. It Ruined A Perfectly Good Song

For those of you who are unaware Maniac 2000 is a cover of the 1983 classic Maniac by Michael Sembello. Above is the 80's new wave synth pop hit. Look me in the eye and tell me that this version is not superior. Great guitar solo.

3. It Spawned This Atrocious Cover

Manages to make Mark McCabe seem like Bob Dylan.

4. The Lyrics

Now I'll be the first to concede that when you're cutting some rug on the dance floor, full as a tick, you're not concerning yourself with the finer points of a song's grand message, but the lyrics in Maniac read like a poem you'd write in second class.

Here are some of the highlights:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
All you guys better know the first verse
Are you ready now
Alright

Back in the house for the year 2000
Yeah, yeah, funky, yeah
She's attack, she's attack
She's a maniac

She said put your hands in the air
Side to side like you just don't care
Everybody in the house on the party night
Scream it back to me
Oggie Oggie Oggie
Oi! Oi! Oi!

Rock it rock it baby baby
Rock it rock it more
Rock it rock it baby baby
Rock it rock it dance floor
Take this house to the, maximum

Not exactly Grammy award winning stuff is it?

5. The Production

The song just sounds cheap. It has aged terribly. The repetitive instrumentation (I get that it's a dance song but still), the Fischer Price synths and Mark McCabe's shouty vocals. It sounds like something a 17 year old would knock out on Garage Band.

6. It's Overplayed

This is my main bone of contention. It has become a staple of the Irish nightclub, usually the signal that the night is coming to an end. There's a depressing familiarity about the tune. You know that when you hear it the craic is winding down.

Look, I'll bop along to Teenage Dirtbag even House Of Pain's Jump Around, but I will draw the line at Mark McCabe's Maniac 2000.