It's December and that means one thing: exam time. Well, that and Christmas. What a wonderful way to crush the impending joy of the giving season, with exams that may or may not determine your future? I doubt any student actually enjoys studying and, although the library around this time is going to be packed with students from 8am until it closes at 2am, are any of them actually studying? You're going through a roller-coaster of emotions around this time and I feel for you, I really do. But also, your stress is stressing me out. I've my own stuff to worry about without you venting on me!
"I have so many exams..."
Even when you have like, three, it seems like an astronomical amount. You can't see past this looming beacon of doom. But it will end.
"I can't even..."
Process what is happening? I know. But it will be over soon and then all you'll have to worry about is the results!
"What is life?"
This short ride before a sudden stop? Pick up your books. A few weeks of study will be followed by holidays, so it could be worse!
"I can't wait to get absolutely shitfaced when this is over."
Especially with all the deals in the student bar!!
"My head hurts."
Stress headaches, lack of sleep and caffeine overload cause brains to feel like they're exploding. Drink water and pain pills and nap. You'll survive.
"When will I ever need this again??"
You won't, but it will look good on your resumé.
"I feel like I've been studying my entire life!"
It's been two days and you've mostly been watching Netflix.
"Study break?"
You deserve it! You've reorganised your notes and downloaded all the past exam papers. You haven't actually looked at anything properly, but your head is in the right place. Definitely due for a 15-30min nap.
"How does one even 'study'?"
It involves highlighters and post-its....something something....
"I don't have time for a shower."
"You can't judge me on my hygiene habits. I have EXAMS!"
"Be grateful I'm wearing pants today."
If it wasn't for stupid social conventions you'd be wearing pjs all day today. Pajamas don't judge, all they do is comfort.
"I can't tonight I have to study.."
When all you'll really do tonight is binge on Netflix and food.
"I need a nap."
*says every five minutes.
"I need another coffee."
One coffee is never enough.
"I need food."
A studying student is a hungry student.
"I need a pen."
"Where have all the fucking pens gone?!" Cue anxiety attack.
"I haven't a clue what we covered."
"What's the name of the module? Why did I even take this class? I can't even remember this semester!"
"What do you think is going to be on the exam?"
What you really mean is: "Tell me you're screwed as well."
"What are you studying?"
AKA: "TELL ME WHAT TO STUDY!"
"Just one more episode."
Five episodes later....
"Popcorn is brain food."
Not if you smother it in butter and salt...
"Shit! I slept through my alarm!"
Might as well sleep for the rest of the day.
"I'm so fucking screwed."
Why did I sleep all day?!
"Can I borrow your notes for like five minutes?"
You will not be getting these notes back.
"I'll start in five minutes."
You say to yourself every five minutes.
"This shirt smells alright..."
Who dresses up during exam time?
"There's no point going to class anymore. I'm not going to learn anything new."
It'll just be revision, right?
"I'm going to cover this and that, that should be enough, right?"
"TELL ME I'LL BE FINE!"
"This isn't that bad..."
"I can totally do this. This is making sense!"
"Wait, what's going to be on the exam? Did we even cover that?!"
Curveball, back to being screwed.
"When did we cover this?!"
Shitballs motherfucker.
"I have to get to the library."
Like yesterday.
"Will you save me a seat in the library?"
Translation: "Don't you dare get a seat without me."
"I can't handle the library right now, too many stressed students messing with my mojo, I'll stay here today."
Studying at home = not studying at all.
"Ugh, it's 8.30. There won't be any seats left in the library."
Stupid over-eager bastards winning at student life.
"I'm so screwed."
Covered.
"What does it all mean??"
Not even your professor knows.
"Let's do this."
Final lap, heading to exam. You've done all you can. You've got this.
"Repeating exams isn't like a failure... right?"
Everyone deserves a second chance.
"What if I was in some horrible accident and couldn't go to the exam tomorrow?"
Shit happens, you know.
"What if I witnessed a crime and couldn't go to the exam tomorrow?"
Again, shit happens.
"How could I prove that I was in an accident without being in an accident?"
How would one 'acquire' a cast/crutches? And how long would I have to use them for the story to be believable?
"Can't I just pass by compensation?"
The college dream...
"I don't even care anymore."
YOLO!
"What did you say for question 2?"
So much for not caring...
"I didn't see section three!"
Well, I'm royally fucked now.
"Fuck it. Let's do shots."
Again, YOLO!
"When is our next exam?"
And so it continues...
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