You're grumpy because you just had to fork out €20 to sit (stand if you're unlucky - cheers Irishrail) on a train for 2 hours while severely hungover with extremely slow wifi. The last thing you need is being irritated by the people beside you ... Unfortunately that's usually the way it goes. Here's a list of the 10 most annoying people to be stuck beside on the train:
1. The Hen Party
Most commonly found on the Sligo train, the Hen Party will usually scream and cackle throughout the duration of the train journey on Friday with little thought for the other passenger's hangovers. However, come Sunday or Monday when they venture their way back home they'll be the ones in the corner telling everyone else to shut up while they demand bottle after bottle of water off the trolley lady. Usually accompanied by sex dolls and a bottle of Chardonnay, the Hen Party sits on the fine line between bemusing and horrifically annoying. They pass to the annoying side if they're shoving their sex doll/penis paraphernalia in your face.
2. The Stag Party
Similar, yet so different, to the Hen Party. Something about the Hen Party suggests "ahh leave them to it they're only having a bit of craic", but the Stag Party just screams "we're a bunch of perves standing here waiting to give you abuse when you get on the train". Ugh. WHY ARE YOU THIS DRUNK AND PERVY AT 4 IN THE AFTERNOON?
3. The Shusher
Usually an irrationally angry old man in reaction to the latest roar of laughter from the Hens and Stags. He's kinda scary.
4. The Junkie
You see him coming. There's a free seat beside you. Oh God. Oh God oh God oh God. Maybe he won't? Nope he definitely will. He's sitting beside you, telling you his life story and reading you your star sign. Christ not again.
5. The Eater
Why? Just why? You shouldn't need me to tell you that tuna sandwiches (or anything that smells) are a bad idea in a confined space. HAVE MERCY ON US!
6. The Nosy Woman
"So where are you from? Where do you go to college? What are you studying? What year are you in? How many points did you get in the Leaving Cert? What's your parents names? What's your address? Is he a relation of John's? No? What about Mary's? Are we distantly related?"
7. The School Kids
Nothing in the world will ever be louder than a group of Irish Primary School kids together on a train. Especially when they're playing "What Does The Fox Say?" on a loop.
8. The Business Man
Dressed in a suit giving the hungover students around him a disproving look, he'll usually be attempting a business call on his bluetooth earpiece over the cackles of the hens.
9. The Phone Chatter
Really? You're going to ring Sarah and go into minute detail about what happened last night? Honestly we don't want to her about how Katie passed out, you got sick and Tommy got the ride. ESPECIALLY when the call lasts an hour and your laugh sounds like a bag of cats.
10. The Sleepy Guy