Graduation is fast approaching and hopefully soon enough you're going to face the big bad world of employment...or maybe you work part time already, if so, you might recognise a few of these gems... if not, you have it all to look forward to...kind of. Here are the types of people you will work with after college..
The gossip hound
Every single bit of news will be broadcast through this human loudspeaker. They will have the scoop on every single person in the office. Generally without a hint of evidence to back it up.
The absolute thundering bitch/prick
There's one person that everybody just really dislikes and it's because of their manner, whether they think they're better than you, or think that they deserve everyone's respect because they've been there for so long....basically no job is complete without the token bitch/prick.
The kiss ass
No matter what the boss says this persons tongue will well and truly be jammed between their cheeks. They make everyone sick to their stomachs and generally reckon they can walk on water...the tossers.
The person who gets away with everything
Whether it's covering their mistakes in excel by highlighting the text and switching the colour to white (don't mention it ;)) or generally getting away with murder because they can cover their tracks they will generally be the ones that infuriate everyone...but only under your collective breaths of course.
The personal space invader
GET OUT OF MY FACE YOU SPACE INVADER
The chatter box
You let work slide Friday evening because you were talking about the weekend with chatter box. Now as you attempt to play catch up to meet that looming deadline, chatter box still won't shut the f*ck up. Bold chatter box...shut up chatter box.
The potentially crazy person
There's always that guy that could potentially be a serial killer...he has no online presence so you can't stalk him while at the same time he never talks about himself and no one knows anything about him. He strangely looks like Jeffrey Dahmer too..which is weird.
The celebrity enthusiast
Coronation street, TOWIE, Kim and Kanye, Gwyneth Paltrow's broken marriage or anything celebrity related is topic of conversation 24/7...
The level headed one
The laid back one who has kind words for everyone and is the go to person for making quick and measured decisions...some people in the office will have the opinion that "there's just something not right with that person"....probably the gossip or the absolute bitch/prick
The egotistical power hungry psycho
The person who has climbed only one rung of the ladder yet goes around behaving like Adolf bloody Hitler...AVOID
The control freak/borderline aspergers person
Neat desk, has different highlighters for different tasks...reaches a borderline nervous breakdown any time something slightly small and unimportant to everyone else starts to slack. You basically work with Sheldon Cooper.
The gym enthusiast
Whey protein at the ready, instead of lunch they eat dumbbells and use any spare time to either work out or talk about working out...when you talk about sports they steer the conversation towards training regimes and what sports stars do in the gym rather than what actually happened in the match. Male gym enthusiasts tend to have an extremely weird and unexplainable infatuation with other males muscles and abs.....even though they're as straight as Hugh Hefner if he was the only man left on earth and rest of the population were exclusively female. Baffling!
They can tell you what is wrong with every single person in your place of work. The one thing they can't see are the obvious gaping flaws they have themselves...
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