I am always someone who boasts about the fact that they never lost anything."I'll mind your phone for you", "Don't worry I've got this" are usual phrases that come to mind. But Friday evening saw this happen to me. I lost my new iPhone and now I take pity on anyone who loses anything. Yes, I have insurance and yes, I am checking Trinity's lost and found today, so it isn't the end of the world. But, the emotional cycle I experienced from Friday night until Saturday evening was horrible. I will forever give more sympathy to those who lose things. I admit my defeat.
1) Confidence
"Ugh, God, I just love the fact I never lose my phone...do you want me to mind yours?...yes, of course." The confidence is beaming through my veins. I am the master of my own destiny. No one can stop me.
2) Slight Worry
I realize I have lost a couple of my friends leaving me essentially by myself. I step out into the smoking area, whip out my phone, "oh yes it is still there of course", and ring. No one answers guess I'll go back inside and see if they're in there. No sign of them - back outside I go to ring more people.
3) Bag Search
Okay, let's get out my phone. It's not in there, it must be in the other pocket. Not there, must be in my coat pockets. I have no pockets. It has got to be on this bench somewhere. Did I give it to someone?
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4) Denial
It is here. Come on this is me - of course it is here. I'll just borrow someones phone and that flash that goes off, that irritates the sh*t out of me, will come in handy.
5) Hope
No sign of it. It has to be here somewhere. I'll check the dancefloor. Down on my honkers I go. I can't see anything and I can't see the phone.
6) Panic
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"FUCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!"
7) Self Pity
Why me? Why does everything bad have to happen to me? Can't remember my password to find my iPhone. Can't find it. Can't see it. No No No!!!!
8) Anger
I actually don't care. I am not going to let this ruin my night.
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9) Sadness
I can't try and have fun - I just can't. I'm going home. There is nothing more for me to do here.
10) Disappointment
I am so disappointed in myself. Why oh why did I let this happen? I am a disgrace.
11) Gluttony
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Nom ah nom ah nom - I have eaten the whole of the fridge and I don't even care. Off to bed I go.
12) Realization
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I woke up and looked for my phone and it is nowhere to be seen. Queue the intense flashback of the whole night. I bloody lost it.
13) The Fear
What did I do? Who was I with? How did this happen? The hangover shakes aren't helping either. I actually hate this.
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14) Gluttony Returns
A meal for 3 for 1 from Dominos is on the cards. This is the only time you will feel utter happiness on a day like today. You feel like the King of Foods and no one else in this world is having a Dominos now.
15) Paranoia
"I'll just get out my phone and see where everyone is." NOOOO it is gone isn't it. For a slight second I thought I had it. What if I am missing vital Whatsapp's? What if I did something wrong and no one can tell me what I did? AHHHHH!
16) The Bollocking
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My parents arrive back from their Saturday outing. The next hour will be spent with them giving out to me. "You were obviously out of your mind...I'd say you drank the whole bar...Oh and look at you rewarding yourself with that filth...you couldn't have eaten the soup I have been slaving away at all morning...Do you know what? I can't even look at the state of you." "Oh, and clean your bloody room."
17) Find My iPhone
After a day of trying to retrieve my password I finally got into Find My iPhone. It says my phone is offline. Well, this is just ridiculous.
18) Sleeping Beauty
I am going to have the longest sleep of my life. On Monday I will go to the Lost & Found. I can deal with this then.
