The Lazy College Girl's Guide To Being Broke

Let's face it; we are all 1) broke and 2) lazy AF. At times they can go hand in hand, but not when it's a Friday night and you're living off loose change scraped from the bottom of your bag. The good news: you CAN have a functioning social life minus the dollah bills, if you just follow these tips...

Hang Out With Other Broke People


In having no money, you form special bonds with people. It's a connection that you just get. When that group Whatsapp message pings with "pub tonight lads?" or "right, so let's book this holiday..." and someone writes back "completely broke, sorry!" you feel like less of a f*ck up at life. It's like a club that no one wants to belong to. But at the very least, you'll have someone to drink cheap cans with. Always a silver lining.

Get A Rich Mate


That sounds really heartless and cruel. But it's also the best way to live if you're broke and lazy. (I said best, not nicest.)


Cut Back on The Nonessentials


Some would refer to these as "trashy" magazines, designer make-up, maybe that round of shots. I'm more thinking things like that gym membership, or healthy food you were gonna try and start eating. Sure go for a jog, it's free. Plus, is healthy food really that important at our age? We've years to live off hummus and be miserable. And with the money you've saved, that round of shots is not so much of a nonessential.

Drink At Home



People knock drinking in too much. Yeah, sitting in listening to Adele and necking a bottle of Tesco finest wine is not something I would brag about doing (obvs because I'd never admit to doing it). But a few drinks in someone's house rather than hitting the town saves a shit ton of money. And can be better craic because you don't lose half of your group and the chance of pulling seems to always be more likely.

Eat In


If you eat out loads, that's gonna cut a massive hole in your wallet. Order a takeaway or better yet, actually try and cook something edible. Saving cash, practicing a skill, being a thoughtful friend/other half...sure you're practically the next Mother Theresa like.

Pre-Drink T'Fuck



If you decide you can't hack sitting in again watching people shift/get sick/murder "Wonderwall" in your house, then by all means head out. I'd advise you to get smashed before leaving and thus saving money buying over-priced booze in town. Oh and leave your ATM card behind, just in case you buy those end-of-night drinks that serve no purpose whatsoever except to push you over the edge from happy-drunk to vomit-and-black-out drunk.

Swap Clothes


If you have "nothing to wear" and think 'oh yeah, sure I'll just grab something from Penney's etc...' you won't. You'll come home with bags of pure crap that you bought because they were under a tenner. YOU HAVE NO MONEY, STOP BUYING SHITE. Instead, ask your mates if you can have a look through any of their stuff that they don't want. My friends have literally worn everything of each others and it's saved my life, and my pocket, many a Saturday night.



Stop Being Fancy


Not waiting until a sale to buy clothes? Eating in expensive restaurants? Only drinking cocktails that are minimum 8 quid a go? Listen, I get that fancy things are nice. I get that they taste better and look better and smell better. But you are broke, my friend. Now get your head out of your arse and act like it.

Pack A Lunch



Be it in college or work, it'll save you so much. All those coffees add up ya know. Bring a flask- tea, soup, hot chocolate, whatever. It sounds a bit childish but you won't think so when you realise you've saved like 30 quid at the end of the first week. That first sip of alcohol will feel weirdly well-earned then.



My purse is literally stuffed with all those cards that you get stamped after you have food or a hot drink etc... Obviously I started using them a few years ago because I was depressingly skint and the AMOUNT of free shit I've gotten because of them. It's so handy too, like it's a fucking stamp so if you're as lazy as I am, I recommend starting asap.


Be A Kid


You are in most other ways anyway so what's so wrong with getting a kids portion if you have to eat out? Ok, there's a lot wrong with it but now is not the time to be picky. And look at it this way, people will feel sorry for you and won't ask you out again so it'll work out in your favour. Oh life is good when you're broke.



Last but not least - deals. Specials, sales, whatever you want to call them. These should be your go-to. I honestly don't get people who complain about having no money yet buy everything full price. Eh, seems like you do have fucking money or else you're up to your ears in debt. It's obviously a pain in the arse, but you can manage to still go out and enjoy yourself on a very tight budget. And just think, in years to come when you're absolutely rolling in it you can laugh at how sad you were. Or jut totally block it from your memory, sure whatever works.

Aoife Loughnane

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