People in long-term relationships everywhere, we salute you. Being with someone for a long time can be great; it means you can be totally comfortable around each other. On the other hand, there are some very specific "no-no"s. To guide you in the right direction, here are some tips for every long term partner ever. You can thank us when they're not shouting at you tonight...
1. Comment On Their Appearance (Positive Only, Obviously)
Just because you've essentially given up on your general appearance now that you've landed someone, doesn't mean that they have. So, instead of making a comment about how 'sexy' they look in their tracksuit bottoms (severe sarcasm detected), comment on how nice they look when they've put an hour's work into looking that way. A friendly bit of commentary will never go unnoticed, I assure you.
2. Celebrate The Little Things
Obviously I'm not suggesting that you have month-versaries or anything as weird as that, but celebrating anniversaries, Valentines, exam results, job successes or a good week in work, are all good enough reasons in my book. Surprise them every now and then with a little celebration and you'll reap the rewards.
3. Do Not Point Out Their Flaws
For God's sake, do you want to lose a limb? Everyone obsesses over their flaws, whether they admit it openly or not. In fact, if you even knew how much time other people wasted hating their appearances, you'd be shocked. Encouraging them to rant about their 'fat' thighs is the most stupid thing you could ever, ever do.
4. Don't Talk About Your Exes (Especially If They Were Really Hot)
We probably know everything there is to know already, on account of the fact that we've stalked them numerous times on Facebook. Never, ever underestimate a lover's stalking skills. They probably knows more about you than you do.
5. Don't Forget To Randomly Text Them From Time To Time
It's all too easy to take your other half for granted when you've been together for a long period of time, so touching base every now and then is imperative. Just a funny little text will do the trick and get you back on their mind in no time.
7. Don't Ever Comment On Their Hot Friends
Because that is a very good way to be frozen out of the bedroom department.
9. Never Disrespect Their Parents
They made us, therefore you should automatically be grateful to them. Make an effort and inquire about them from time to time, that's all it takes.
11. Surprise Them Every Now And Then
There's a certain element of getting into a routine when you're in a long term relationship, so instead of spending another weekend in the pub together, surprise them with a little treat: a date night, a weekend away, a new sex move or whatever else it takes to put you in the good books. Whatever it is that you do will show that you've put thought and care into it and that's a massive plus in our eyes. Honest.
13. Support Them, No Matter What
That's what you're there for, after all. If they're feeling down, cheer them up. If they're quiet, talk to them. If they're having family problems, be there for them. If you're the reason they're upset, change your bad habits before they change their partner. Above all, be their shoulder to cry on and their solid support system. Remind them why they love you and you're on the right track.