Every weekend I see the same text messages listed in my sentbox from the night before. They always start off so well, before the alcohol consumes me and they take a drastic turn for the worst. If you're anything like me, you'll have the same drunken text messages littering your inbox every weekend. Have a great weekend - here's 50 texts you're probably going to send!
To your girlfriend.
1. "You want to come to my friend's birthday with me tonight?"
2. "Cool, I'll pick you up at 9pm. Please be ready."
3. "I'll be over in one hour. We can't be late, please make sure you're ready."
4. "What do you want to drink? I'll get it."
5. "On my way."
6. "WTF?! I gave you 5 hours notice?"
7. "Waiting in the car. Hurry up."
8. "Where are you?"
9. "With the guys, meet us at the bar."
10. "Babyyyy, I'm sorry."
11. "Fine, piss off."
12. "That was my cousin Amy I was with, I swear!"
13. "Fuck this."
14. "I Love you..."
15. "hdgfhd jfhsl ufgf."
To your friends.
16. "What are you upto tonight?"
17. "Duno yet."
18. "Definitely drinking though."
19. "Okay, cool. I'll meet you there."
20. "Let's hope it doesn't end up anything like last weekend!"
21. "You bringing your girlfriend?"
22. "Shit, I already asked her to come..."
23. "There's no backing out now."
24. "Bought us another pitcher, where'd you go?"
25. "I'm outside, are you still inside?"
26. "Beer, beer, beer."
27. "If you had a fight with her and went home again, I'll kill you."
28. "pussy."
29. "You clearly can't hack the sesh."
30. "Dude, can I borrow a condom?
31. "You're ma boy Blue! You're my boy :( "
32. "Just made love to a doner kebab. You missed out big time."
To your drug dealer.
33. "Yo, can I pick up a 50 off of you?"
34. "Yeah, I can meet you there in 30 mins."
35. "Here's the thing, I don't have any money."
36. "Can I get it on tick?"
37. "You the man - thanks bro. I love you."
38. That is some goood shiiii
To your ex girlfriend.
39. "You bitch."
40. "What you doing?"
41. "I miss you."
To your Tinder matches.
42. "Hey."
43. "You should come out."
44. "Buttstuff?"
45. "You still up?"
46. "I'm so horny..."
47. "Come over."
To your mom.
48. "Sorry I'll clean it tomorrow."
49. "Will you leave keys under the mat, forgot mine."
50. "Staying at Brian's. Be home tomorrow afternoon." (really your girlfriend's or some girl you're hooking up with)
Know what looks good on a c.v? Published work! If you’re interested in joining the College Times team, please email us, we’d love to hear from you! [email protected]
