What Kind Of Cyclist Are You?

Working in town, College(ing) in town or just hanging around, you've inevitably had a near death experience either caused by a cyclist or while you were on your bike. Cyclists come in all shapes and sizes, here are the ones you'll see around town.

1. The Hipster

At number one were have the 'too cool for friends or gears.'

2. The Hip Commuter

The guy that bought a mountain bike/racer and rides to work with his suit in his bag.

3. The *cough * Fat Biker

Fair fucks to him for trying. He's probably trying to get healthy, but it ain't pretty.

4. The Pro

You've seen this guy. He takes riding to work too seriously and you'll often see him sprinting to catch a red like...

5. The Old Fart

This soft old man is another guy that deserves a shout out. The guy has socks longer than God's beard and you wonder how he's powering along the city streets.

6. The Rent-a-Cyclist

This person has rented one of those hideous city bikes and thinks he is the bees knees, whisking through traffic so he can get his Starbucks coffee two minutes before you.

7. The Road Rager

This guy thinks his word is the be all and end all and he's the loudest guy on the road.

8. The Courier

These guys are fucking mental. They race through traffic like they have a death wish. It's kinda scary to watch them work sometimes.

9. Retro-man

The guy with the old bike, rusty as the Titanic and rattles like a jar full of coins. If he's not on the road you'll find him in a café with an espresso.

10. The Butch Lady Cyclists

Big thighs and a confident style. They are there to get to work and nobody is going to stop them.

11. The Delicate Lady Cyclist

She's graceful and glides along the road like an ice dancer. Usually in a dress and with a pretty basket on the front carrying a baguette, she basically thinks she's Taylor Swift.

12.The Scared First Timer

Slow and steady, head up, helmet on and looking around. This poor newbie is on the Dublin city bike tour debut and is scared shitless of cars.

13. The Garda Cyclist

Ominous lads stand, arms folded and looking for trouble. They travel in groups of two and are fast. They have taken a class on bike handling and dodging pedestrians.

14. The Walker

This guy likes to take his bike out for walks and show them off around the city.

15. The Mother-Child Combo

This is a balancing act worthy of admiration. I'm sure sometimes they forget the kid is even there.

16. The Show Off

This guy is so irritating. Popping wheelies at traffic lights or riding down the street shouting "Look mom no hands!"

17. The F@ck All The Rules Guy

The dude that gives cyclists a bad name. Even other cyclists hate this guy.

18. The Business Man

The corporate man sooooooo busy he hasn't time to acknowledge other people's existence.

19. The Road Hog

Often found in the middle of the road. Most have never seen a cycle path because they don't want to.

20. The Strava Obsessed

Oh, the serious guys. They can't, don't and won't stop for anything or else they will mess up their Strava ride.

21. The Blind Cyclist

Clipping cars, bumping into other cyclists, hitting buses and crashing into traffic cones. This is the blind cyclist.

22. The Path cyclist

Dangerous fools!

Look at that guy contemplating it. *sigh * eye roll.

Chris Duff

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