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Things I've Learned From Being A Long Term Girlfriend

Now, let me get one thing straight, it was never my life long goal to be someone's long term girlfriend. I'm not one of those girls. These things just happen. You live your college years doing what you please, meeting new people, going on awkward dates and then one night you decide to hit up Coppers and low and behold, you meet your future boyfriend in the smoking area after he tells you to fuck off (just me?) Things don't always happen in the way that you've envisioned, but that doesn't make them any less great. Here are the things I've learned from being a long term girlfriend.

1) Opposites Do Attract

Just because you're not the typical picture perfect couple, with all of the same interests in all of the same things, does not spell disaster. I hate house music, rugby, hurling, Game of Thrones and airplanes but that doesn't bother him. Neither should it bother you.

2) Common Ground Can Be Anything And Everything

I think the most important common ground has to be a similar sense of humour. Fuck music, careers or favorite clothing brands, if you can't make one another laugh then it's doomed.

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3) Don't Be Afraid Of New Experiences

When someone new comes into your life, so too does everything in their life. Friends, family, trips, events, plans. Go with the flow and embrace everything that's thrown at you. Consider it all a learning curve and an experience.

4) Be Prepared For His Lad Friends Banter

There's nothing quite as nerve racking as meeting his lad friends for the first time. You're going to be slagged and then dissected afterwards, so at least have some cutting responses ready for the man brigade awaiting you. They appreciate that shit so much more than a timid, awkward girl in the corner. Also, have a drink or three first...

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5) Drunken Nights Bring You Closer

Whether it's telling him things that you never would sober, finally revealing your whopper dance moves or getting shitfaced and minding one another, being drunk in front of one another breaks down any barriers and makes you bond that little bit more.

6) All Of His Friends Aren't Going To Love You

Sadly. Maybe you'll strike lucky, but more than likely not. Hey, you can't be to everyone's taste and if you dislike them too then it's grand. Just tell him how you feel and that way you can minimize the time you have to spend around said dickhead.

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7) You'll Need A Serious Amount Of Patience

Men can be infuriating sometimes, in fact, make that most of the time. Exercise as much patience as is humanly possible, until he pisses you off so much you must inform him politely. Or rudely.  Whatever floats your boat.

8) If Your Parents Like Him, He's Probably A Good One

If he passes the test of parental questioning, then he's pretty much a winner. Your parents aren't going to pull any punches when it comes to reviewing your newest male conquest. They'll give it to you straight. Poor lad...

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9) Long Distance Relationships Are Shit But Rewarding

People really aren't exaggerating when they say that being in a long distance relationship is tough. It's frustrating, tiring, lonely and most of all, when you're in separate countries, the amount of happy couples everywhere seems to treble. When you do get to see one another though, you'll really make the most of it and enjoy your time together. Plus, if you can get through a long distance relationship together, you're doing pretty well.

10) Buying Them A Present Is Always Confusing

Having grown up with no brothers or close male friends, I always find male present buying stressful as fuck, so early on in the grand scheme of things,  I learned to give up guessing and just brought him shopping. Romantic it ain't, but neither is it stressful. SURPRISE.  Not so much.

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11)  When You're Mad At Him It'll Totally Occupy Your Mind

Never leave a fight unresolved overnight. As they say, you should never go to bed on an argument. It's better to have one huge argument and clear the air, than to give him the silent treatment and let it go on for days because if you don't, it's all you're going to be thinking about. Countless days ruined.

12) He'll Make A Great Travel Companion

You know all of those odd little places that you've always wanted to visit but never knew who to go with? A boyfriend is the answer to all of your problems. Pick the cheapest flights to the most random place and off you pop, a weekend of adventure awaits you.

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13) You Don't Have To Take Care Of Him

It's 2014, we are not your mothers. We're going to sit down now and you can cook us some food. You may as well lay down the law from the very beginning and let him know that you will not be cooking for him. Ever. Put him in his place and all that. Then sit back and stuff yourself with the dinner he has so lovingly prepared. Get back in the kitchen, dear men.

14) There's A Comfort In Knowing He's There When You Need Him Most

The best thing I've found about being a long term girlfriend, is that at the end of a shitty day, you can always depend on him to make you smile, laugh and feel better. If you're having a miserable week, he'll be there to sit and listen to you whine. It's different to chatting with your friends, the dimensions are different, maybe it's because you've known them for a shorter period of time, but when you're having a dmc with your other half, you're showing them a previously unseen side to you. I also find that men will give you much more honest, realistic advice which is just what you need to hear from time to time.

Alison Keogh
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Alison decided to follow a sensible career route and chose to study Media. She happens to think of herself as a kind of Irish Beyonce after four Coronas, which usually results in her being deserted on the dance-floor by her loving friends. Her horrifically short attention span seeps into many aspects of her life, resulting in her half hearing important facts and hating people who walk at a leisurely pace.
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