Life

28 Times Karl Pilkington Summed Up College Life

Karl Pilkington has what most would describe as a 'unique' outlook on life. Take the most amazing, the most beautiful thing in the world, and bring Karl in and he'll metaphorically shit all over it, so to speak. His bluntness knows no bounds, his sharpness no softness. What I'm saying is, he's a bit of a dick. Here are his most shining observations yet; here are 28 times when he summed up college life:

When your housemate refuses to let you ram any more shit into the bin.

When your lads trip away lands you in an utter shithole.

When you're trying to rationalise your friends new-found relationship joy. 

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When you wake up so hungover that your eyelashes quite literally ache.

 

When you worry about your future children turning out like you. Just imagine that....

When you're really struggling to put together that last minute history essay.

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When you become bombarded with loud society types during a lecture.

When someone dares to suggest that you're not adventurous enough in your food choices.

When you bring a date to the Zoo and the 'adorable' animals attempt to mug you off. 

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When your friend Dave gets naked in your house. Again. 

When someone suggests something 'mad' like smoking up or firing one another down the stairs in a stolen trolley from Tesco.

When you're so deep in your hangover that there's literally no light at the end of the tunnel. 

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When you sit back and really ponder life itself during the most boring of all lectures.

When you're trying to end Steve's horribly long dry spell by pawning him off in the club.

When you actually make your morning lectures, against all your better will. 

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When your Sally Hansen skills get a little out of hand. 

When you see someone's underwhelming beer bottle collection.

When you're hungover but also really, really broke, so you attempt to make your own 'three in one'.

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When your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

When your efforts at hair spiking are futile, to say the least.

When your mate shows you what they're up against on Grindr.

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When you've eaten pizza for breakfast all week and what even is a gym and then Sarah turns up looking like a Vicky S model and you just can't even.

When the group project politics just go to shit and you've had enough. 

When you're trying to sell yourself as a decent human being on a date, but then you slip up...

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When you head into Mac expecting wondrous things, but come out looking like a caricature of your former self.

When you wake up from a pretty great dream, only to have it diminished by the harsh realities of reality.

When your girlfriend cries and shit gets real awkward, real fast.

And finally, when you gave up on that Netflix series many moons ago, but everyone and their Mother is still shitting on about it.

Alison Keogh
Article written by
Alison decided to follow a sensible career route and chose to study Media. She happens to think of herself as a kind of Irish Beyonce after four Coronas, which usually results in her being deserted on the dance-floor by her loving friends. Her horrifically short attention span seeps into many aspects of her life, resulting in her half hearing important facts and hating people who walk at a leisurely pace.

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