3 Reasons Dating Is Actually Good For You

By Akemi Liyanage.

Do you want to find a life partner? The answer is probably yes. Between working crazy hours, going to college, hanging out with friends and trying to make a life for ourselves, many of us still dream of finding that one person who will make everything sweeter. Unfortunately for us, though, that requires us to date.

And, unless you’ve found “the one” at your first attempt, you’ve probably been rejected, hit on by weirdos and absolutely dumbfounded at all the silly things people do in the name of love. What’s so fun about meeting new people when it almost inevitably leads to failure? What is the joy of a pursuit that leaves us hanging every time the relationship may lead to something serious?

Fortunately for us, the answer is not “nothing.” Dating sucks, but there’s a lot to gain from it, as well. From all the amazing dates that lead to empty relationships and horrible first impressions that blossomed into lovely experiences, here are three solid reasons why it’s okay that dating sucks:

1. Rejection makes you resilient.

Nobody likes to be turned down, especially late on a Friday night after an exhausting week of work. We muster up our courage and walk up to that cute guy or girl and hope they'll will give us a chance. But, he or she gives you a rotten look and turn you down without a second thought.


It stings like nothing else. What now? The more rejection you face, the more you’ll come to understand that it’s a natural part of dating. And, the more you grow to accept rejection, the easier it’ll be to face failure in all forms, including failure in your professional and creative life.

Now, that presentation you completely botched in front of your boss will be a step in the road instead of the end of your career. Those demos that went nowhere will be your first attempt to make music, not your last. As nobody is perfect 100 percent of the time, everyone will face rejection at some point in their lives. That’s why experiencing it multiple times via dating will help you become more resilient toward failure.

2. It’ll help you embrace the unknown.

One of the most frustrating parts of dating is that you never know when you’ll meet “the one.” No matter how much effort you put into your appearance at that charity function you went to last Sunday, it may have yielded few to no dates for the future. On the other hand, walking down the vegetables aisle at the supermarket may happen to be the place where you lay eyes on the most adorable person alive.

Dating, therefore, pushes us toward the realisation that life is completely unpredictable. You might be single and sad on Valentine’s Day only to find an amazing date the next day. You might be unhappy with your life this week, only to get the biggest break of your life in the week after. Once we accept the unknown in our lives, it opens our eyes to the endless possibilities we have before us. And most importantly, it encourages us to be ready for opportunities that take us to the next level.


3. You’ll know more about your ideal partner.

So, you went out with a surfer only to learn you hate surfing. You had an intense dislike for deep waters, but you decided to try surfing for his or her sake. And it turns out, you still hate it. Yes, for a while, you’ll be shaking your head about how you couldn’t conquer your fear of deep waters. But on the other hand, you’ve identified a trait that may make a person incompatible with you. How? Well, the next time someone asks you out with the expectation that you’ll one day surf with him or, you can politely turn him or her down.

Though we may feel that we know our preferences from the get-go, it’s very different to experience them face to face. Every date — from that playboy soccer player to the attractive drama major — will give you one more clue on what you truly, deeply want in a person. So, the next time someone walks by, bemoaning how much he or she hates to surf, you’ll know to strike up a conversation.

Do any of these reasons justify the pain of dating? Definitely not. But, with every difficult experience comes the opportunity to pick out a silver lining. Maybe you’re still single and struggling to find a partner, but you can develop your life outside of dating using the lessons you learn from facing rejection, embracing the unknown and learning more about your ideal life partner.

So, let’s not focus on the pain. Date away!


CollegeTimes Staff
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