5 Reasons Why Burritos Are Better Than Girls

When you look at her, everything just makes sense and the world seems to slow down as your surroundings fade to black and the universe only becomes occupied by the two of you. And as you sit there in peaceful bliss you want nothing more in the world than to bite her head off. I am, of course, talking about a burrito and not an actual female lady because that would be murder and cannibalism, but with burritos it's a beautiful moment you can both share. A man and a burrito just share a delicate, intimate romance that can not be felt by a man and a woman (or a man and a man). Without a doubt my friends, burritos are better than girls.

Burritos don't want to talk about their feelings. They just sit there looking delicious.
They're a great thing to eat in the morning, and they don't even need to shower beforehand.
Burritos don't need makeup to look good, they woke up like this.
You can date more than one burrito at the same time. They don't do all that petty jealously shit.

Burritos smell better than any girl ever could.
Dafe Orugbo
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Dafe once went streaking in the middle of the day for the promise of a 4in1. He is in possession of a spectacular ass, and considers himself quite the suave "Motha-Fucka". He studies English and Law in Maynooth University, but rarely attends classes because he is; and I quote - "Too busy mackin them bishes". His love for appletini's is only outweighed by his love for appletini's. Be warned if you ever encounter Dafe in the real world, he will probably turn you to the darkside *whispers* black people...

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