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30 Bullshit Words To Help You Waffle Through Your Next College Essay

30 Bullshit Words To Help You Waffle Through Your Next College Essay

It's hard to be clever all the time. However, sounding clever is a lot easier to manage. Throughout your college life you will pick up useful phrases and terms that will bump up the credibility of your waffle. Here's a little helping hand. Use liberally.

1) Semiotics - The study of signs and symbols and their use or interpretation. AKA Spooferism in its purest form.

2) Juxtaposition - The fact of two things being seen or placed close together with contrasting effect. I lost count of the things I juxtaposed over the years.

3) Compartmentalise - Divide into discrete sections or categories.

4) Subjective - Based on or influenced by personal feelings, tastes, or opinions. If you're stuck for an opinion, declare that the issue is extremely subjective and gaze pensively into the sky.

5) Popular Discourse - What most people would agree on a topic. A good one to chuck in to help with the word count.

6) Postulate/Stipulates/Reasons - All fancy words for 'say'. Use them and abuse them.

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7) Esoteric - Intended for or likely to be understood by only a small number of people with a specialised knowledge or interest. Which is funny because esoteric is likely to be understood by only a small number of people with a specialised knowledge or interest.

8) Bourgeoisie - The middle class, typically with reference to its perceived materialistic values or conventional attitudes. I defy you to finish a four year english/history/politics degree without becoming incredibly familiar with the Bourgeoisie.

9) Satiate - Satisfy (a desire or an appetite) to the full. Example: This article satiates my appetite for bullshit terms.

10) De facto, Vis-a-vis, Ergo - Any latin phrases are dead certs to make your waffle sound more genuine. Use them ad nauseum.

11) Paradoxical - Seemingly absurd or self-contradictory.

12) Perfunctory -  Carried out without real interest, feeling, or effort. Example: This article is perfunctory.

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13) Arcane - Understood by few; mysterious or secret

14) Diatribe - A forceful and bitter verbal attack against someone or something

15) Vitriolic - Filled with bitter criticism or malice

16) Avant Garde - New and experimental ideas and methods in art, music, or literature.

17) Dichotomy - A division or contrast between two things that  are represented as being opposed or entirely different. There was a dichotomy apparent between the subject of your essay and the waffle.

18) Faux Pas - An often inadvertent contravening of social norms which causes embarrassment to onlookers.

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19) Vicarious - Experienced in the imagination through the feelings or actions of another person

20) Myriad - A countless or extremely great number of people or things.

21) Egregious - Outstandingly bad; shocking.

22) Erroneous - Wrong; incorrect.

23) Engender - Cause or give rise to. This article will engender increased spoofery among students.

24) Salient - Most noticeable or important. This article contains salient information on how to pad out an essay.

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25) Rhetoric - The art of effective or persuasive speaking or writing, especially the exploitation of figures of speech and other compositional techniques.

26) Extrapolate - Extend the application of (a method or conclusion) to an unknown situation by assuming that existing trends will continue or similar methods will be applicable. As we can extrapolate from this article, I have used a lot of bullshit phrases before.

27) Galvanise - Shock or excite (someone) into taking action. This article will galvanise your essay writing skills.

28) Substantiate - Provide evidence to support or prove the truth of.

29) Elucidate - Make (something) clear; explain.

30) Tenuous - Very weak or slight. Example: This article has a tenuous links to writing a good essays.

Also Read: 90s Kids Listen Up! Your Favourite Childhood Toy Is Making A Comeback

 

Eoin Lyons

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