1. You wake up at 11 or 12, because it’s not like you have an actual job or college to go to. Ah, the life of an umeployed graduate.
2. Home and Away, The Great British Bake-Off, or Pointless is the highlight of your day—depending on how posh you are.
3. You scroll through GradIreland, Fás, LinkedIn, and every other job website you can think of. Cue sending your CV to EVERYTHING—even if you’re either over-qualified or lacking in experience.
4. Bored, you redo your CV—change the font, move the indentation by .1cm, maybe add flash new graphics if you’re feeling adventurous. You have hundreds of other graduates to beat, so this counts as work.
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5. Man the stations to commence checking and rechecking of your emails.
6. Take a break to check your Facebook and Twitter. Feel guilty for wasting your time.
7. Check Facebook again—because someone has definitely posted something new. When someone posts good news—a scholarship, job, relationship, etc.—you will like their status but really you secretly hate them.
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In despair, you’ll leave the homepage and try and beat that level of Candy Crush Saga you’ve been stuck on for a month.
8. Check your emails again. You're certain good news awaits... Nope. Nothing. You feel like a failure.
9. Move away from your laptop in search of daylight and a vague attempt at healthiness. Retreat after a half mile because exercise just isn’t worth it.
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10. Check Facebook. Again. Note new photos of old friends or friends who are still in college on an epic night out. Despair.
11. Check emails one last time. Find a rejection from one of the jobs you applied for. They’re keeping your CV on file. We all know what that really means. You'll never hear from them again. Seyonara, Dream Job.
12. Receive an email with details of an interview…for an unpaid internship. Celebrate, regardless.
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13. Someone will ask what your plans are and/or how the job hunting is going. You will give a vague half-truth and return to looking at the job-seeking websites…just in case.
14. Find nothing new. Give up for the day. Spend the evening with friends as a pick-me-up.
15. Go to bed with the same plan: to do it all again tomorrow.
