Going out - effort central. Raise your hand if you have the time to get picture perfect ready every single time you go out. No one raised their hands? Thought so. Going out is something that we love to do. I would go out every single night of the week if my health allowed it. But getting ready to go out and all of the obstacles throughout the night make it too much effort sometimes. Here's the lazy girl's guide to going out.
1. Simple Makeup
Sure, we'd all love to be contoured and blended and all that jazz, but who has time for that, what with all of the drinking you have to do. Don't aim too high with your makeup. Smokey eyes? No thanks. Winged eyeliner. Nope (unless you're a seasoned pro.) Stick with foundation, bronzer, lip schtuff, and whatever is easiest to throw on your eyes without causing you to have a mental breakdown.
2. Instant Tan and Tights
If you really just don't have the time (or energy) to shave your legs... Tights, tights, tights my friend. And hola Cocoa Brown and Sally Hansen. Where would we be without these two beautiful products? A quick spray and suddenly you're transformed from an albino into a golden goddess.
3. Dry Shampoo
Ok, we admit that washing our hair is a thing we should do regularly, but sometimes it's been a long day of college and all we want to do is get straight to drinking. Roots a little greasy but the rest of your hair is fine? Dry shampoo. All of your hair is greasy and you're just super lazy? Dry shampoo. ANY PROBLEM YOU COULD EVER HAVE? Dry shampoo.
4. Get people to pick up your drink for you.
There really is nothing worse than wanting to start drinking, realising you don't have any drink and having to go to the shop to actually purchase it yourself. Why must I do things for myself. Text everyone you know with the classic 'you heading to the shop before pre-drinks?' and let your mates do the work for you. (Sometimes they'll even forget to ask you for the money back. Score.)
5. Bring pre-drinks to you.
Speaking of pre-drinks, there's nothing nicer than having pre's at your own gaff. People come to you and you can sometimes even drink in your bed and people will just surround you. You are the Queen and they are the peasants.
6. Drink through a straw.
**Extremely lazy girl hack** Don't want to use up any energy whilst drinking? Drink through a straw! You can hold your drink and not even move your arm when you want a sip. Also straws mean that you won't mess up your lipstick. Double plus.
7. Have someone around to give you piggy backs.
On nights out, there's nothing worse than realising that the heels you wore were designed by the devil. And who wants to walk around on the freezing cold ground, with the risk of shards of glass and little stones going into your foot? Nobody. Having someone around that will willingly give you piggy backs to the taxi is always a huge plus on a night out.
8. Bring snacks.
Ok, we all know how alcohol affects us. We get hangry. Why else would we spend 20 euro in McDonalds after most nights out? Having a few snacks in your bag will keep you sane in the club until said McDonalds trips. Bars, crisps, tubs of Pringles, a roast dinner, whatever you have lying around the kitchen will do really.
9. Don't forget to save money for pizza.
Sometimes I keep enough money in my purse for pizza, and completely forget about the fact that I need to pay for a taxi home too. It usually comes to the excruciating decision between pizza, and a lift home. Fuck it, I'll walk. (Pizza can also double as a pillow if needs be)
10. Buy a treat for sober you in the morning.
The morning after a night out, everyone has their own little thing that will make their hangover just that little bit better. For me, I like to buy a can of coke in the vending machine on the way home from town. Drunk me buys the coke and puts it in the fridge. Sober me crawls out to the kitchen the next day and thanks drunk me for being so thoughtful. I love you, me.