If I had known how to prevent a hangover when I was in college, I might have a real job and probably wouldn't be writing this article. So I, Rudolph Brotherton, am here to tell you the essential steps to prevent a nasty-ass hangover.
Now I know what you’re thinking, who the fuck am I to be preaching to you? It’s simple, if you want to know who I am, ask your mum. Sit back, shut up and thank me the morning after your next night out.
Have a massive dinner.
Think about it, if you drink with nothing in your stomach, you’re going to get demented drunk and probably have a shit night. Have a big feed before you venture out. Pasta, potatoes, rice, bread and milk will all do the trick.
Buy multi-vitamins. They’re like €4 in Lidl. You won’t regret it.
Spoon of olive oil.
This is supposedly what the Russian boys do before going to war, so that they can consume enough drink to make them confident, while remaining coherent. Olive oil is denser than water, so it will sit at the bottom of your stomach, etc.
A hangover is essentially just dehydration. Try to have at least a few glasses of water when you’re disco-dancing in the club.
Try not to mix drinks.
I know this is never going to happen, but at least try.
Yet again, Drink loads of water.
Drink an absolute shitload of water. After you drink a shitload, do it again.
Dioralyte - the key to re-hydration.
Highly unlikely you’ll manage to do this. But, if you can get one of these into you before you hit the hay, it will make you feel infinitely better the next day. You can get them in any pharmacy. They are life-savers.
I always head to the gym the morning after a night out. No matter how bad you feel or how shit the session is, you’ll feel a lot better after a bit of exercise.
When you have consumed a lot of alcohol, you don’t really sleep, you go unconscious. Your body recovers at a third the rate of normal sleep. Rest up, old pal.
Now I didn't come down in the last fucking rain shower. I am well aware of what happens when you drink. I am also aware that very few of you will do any of these, except maybe the ones listed in the 'Before' section. But these methods are scientifically proven to work. Even if you don’t know anything about physiology or nutrition, use your head and it will begin to make sense.
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