This is a sucky situation. There are no two ways around it. Loving someone who doesn't love you back is horrible. Tennyson had it right: 'it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.' It's a heartbreaking combo of not being with the person you want, and also not being wanted in return. It leads to you questioning your own worth, you ask yourself what's wrong with me, or even what's wrong with them for not liking you in that way? You could become so self-absorbed in this situation that you neglect everything else in your life: friends, work, college life. It's very hard to accept, after all you can't make someone fall in love with you if they just are not attracted to you. Trying to get them to fall for you is just a pursuit of misery. Here's how to deal with your unrequited love affair;
1) Tell Them
A daunting prospect I know, but how can you really know that someone doesn't like you if you don't hear it from them yourself? It might be that they do actually care for you, but are too shy to express any sort of sign that they do. Or it might be that they don't think of you in that way. Whatever the case, in order for you to move on with your life, it's better to clear the air and know where you stand.
2) Accept Their Answer
If they don't like you now, your attempts to get them to fall for you will not help. Accept how they feel and accept that you can't change that. You can't make someone fall for you. It sucks but deal with the rejection and don't fight them, it won't help you in any way. It will just make you look like an intensely obsessed lonely stalker.
3) Don't Pretend To Bump Into Them
Don't hang out where you know they'll hang out, don't go to their work and hang around all day, if they're doing science and you're doing business, don't hang out in their section of the library in the hopes that you'll run into them and definitely don't wait outside their house for them to come out and notice you. This is called stalking. Don't do it, it's not attractive or romantic. Just like in real life, online stalking should be avoided. Don't like everything they post, or photos of them from five years ago. If they've told you that they aren't interested in you, leave them alone, stalking them will only freak them out more, it won't make them think that you are fated to be with one another.
4) Don't Be Available
If you are friends with them, you need to get over this feeling before you can go back to hanging out like normal. Don't offer to help them move, or hang out on Friday night, or go for a coffee, or go to the cinema. You will read too much into everything because you are attracted to them and will just end up upsetting yourself. You don't have to be cruel about it, just don't be around, be busy instead. If they care about you as a friend, they should understand and not push you to hang out with them.
5) Go Out & Meet People
Sitting at home and crying about your heartache achieves nothing. Go out and meet people, maybe even go on a date, either from Tinder or get your friends to set you up with someone. Go on a night out with your friends, dance the pain away. You might even meet someone out, just do not compare them to the guy/ girl you're trying to forget. You'll just remember them as perfect through your foggy, drunk, rose-tinted glasses. It will only lead to you drunk texting them...not a good look. Try to forget about them and have a good time.
6) Recognise That They Aren't Perfect
No one is, just because they're good-looking and funny, it doesn't mean that they're perfect. How well do you really know them? They might hate puppies or are really judgemental. You can't know everything about a person, even if you're in a relationship with them. You could be building them up in your mind because they have rejected you. It will eat into your self-esteem and you won't be able to stop yourself from thinking that they're so much better than you. This is bullshit, you're great, you just can't expect everyone to fall for you. You aren't attracted to everyone in the world are you? (I hope you said no.) So how can you expect everyone to like you?
7) Be The Best Possible You
One seriously crappy thing about rejection is that you get down on yourself. You just feel crap and don't think that anyone could love you. Bullshit. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off. If you think you could lose some weight, go do that. If you want to shake up your look with a new hairstyle or outfit, go make that happen. Don't sit around and feel sorry for yourself. You don't need a pity party, you need to go be the best you that you can be. You won't feel down forever, someday you will find someone who feels the same way about you, it's just not this person and it's not right now. Chin up.
