Ah yes, the long awaited, much anticipated Summer. A time that we build up in our heads to be a magical, college free, party central time... But in reality it usually turns out to be a shit fest. Why don't our expectations of hot boys, hot days and a hot body ever come true? Here are a couple of expectations that we hope for, and the cruel realities that end up coming our way.
Expectations: You're on the beach, sunning your gorgeous bod. Your hair is perfect and not at all Hagrid-like. Suddenly a perfectly tanned boy comes running your way to catch a ball that his friends have passed over your way. You catch the ball and the boy smiles at you and says "thanks, hey, what are you doing later?" You act really cool and say "going out with you of course." He smiles. You fall in love. A Summer romance that rivals The Notebook comes out of it and you get married and have a million babies. BOOM. NAILED IT.
Reality: You end up in Castlebar for the Summer, nowhere near a beach, and the rain is pissing down on you. You're scoping out all of the lads and you see one that is just your type. After a few pints you mosey on over to him and casually say "hey, what are you doing later?" (It's 2016 girls, go get it) He stares blankly at you and you realise that your nose is bleeding profusely and it's falling into your pint. The sight of the blood makes you faint and he calls someone else over to deal with you. You spend the rest of the day in hospital and you never see him again. #truluv
2. Social Life
Expectations: Pool parties and elegant soirées. You spend all day every day hanging out with your friends. Shopping for cute little sun dresses and drinking pints in the Beer Garden. You throw loads of barbeques and you're the most popular gal around. Thank God college is over for the year, now we can reaaaaaally party. SUMMER SHOTS FOR EVERYONE!
Reality: You spend 5 days of the week working in a Topaz Deli making chicken rolls for rude, ungrateful people who say things like "Can I just have like the tiniest bit of butter?... No, like more than that though... More... Oh God that's too much now, can you scrape some of it off?." You're usually too tired after your 9 hour shifts to do anything. You don't wanna drink on your 2 days off because you would waste them by being hungover. So you just give up trying to socialise and spend your Summer with your new best friend, Netflix.
Expectations: I'm gonna either go on a holiday with the gals, (#MilanWithDaGals) go on a nice family holiday, (#Reunited) go interrailing with some people from college, (#Experiences) go on a J1 and live like an American for a few months (#AmericanDream) or maybe just get a sassy internship somewhere like London. (#MightSeeAdele) I'm definitely not just staying at home anyways, I've got a whole life to live. This is my year guys.
Reality: So I seem to have spent all of the money I had saved for the Summer on clothes, drink and food. I suppose it's another Summer at home for me.. Working.. Oh my God.. Why me God.. WHY DID I 'NEED' THOSE RIVER ISLAND SHOES AND THOSE MILLIONS OF BURRITOS. It's all your fault Boojum.
4. Good Habits
Expectations: This Summer I'm going to cleanse my body of all of the badness. Im going to start eating properly, and I'm going to expand my mind. Might read a few of the Classic Novels, might start to do yoga every morning, and I'm going to eat fruit for breakfast, lunch and Dinner. Sudoku is a thing, right? I'll try that. Jogs every morning, and no technology after 8pm. New Summer - New Me.
Reality: Summertime causes Binge drinking. Binge drinking causes grease cravings. Greasy food causes fullness. Fullness causes you wanting to lay down all day long watching Netflix. Lying down all day causes you to fall asleep during the day. Falling asleep during the day causes you to be up restless all night. Being restless causes you to binge drink because there's nothing else to do. A vicious cycle that I just cannot break. F U alcohol (Sorry I didn't mean that. I love you, never leave me)
5. Saving Money
Expectations: You're bank account is constantly being topped up because you're working so god damn hard. Fair play m8. You say no to stupid little things like those shoes in New Look that you're obsessed with. You're very careful with your money on nights out. And you budget like an absolute boss. Money is going to be no problem when you go back to college in September. You are SET.
Reality: During the Summer - You lose your phone on a night out. 200 euro to fix it? Yeah no bother, I'm working loads, I can afford it. Oh those shoes are only 60 euro? Put it on my card kid. How about a round of shots for everyone in here? I'M PAYING. My hair looks a little dry, 40 euro for a hair mask seems solid enough. At the end of the Summer - I have only 90 euro saved. How did this happen, like I was working sooo much. I think I got robbed. Identity theft. HELP ME.
6. Organising Your Life
Expectation: During the summer there is an endless amount of time. You finally have time to clean up your room, re-decorate, and get rid of old stuff. You can buy a planner and fill up your days with productive activities and finally get your life in order. This is the Summer that you figure out who you are, and what you want to do.
Reality: You wake up one day in your messy room, look around, and realise that this is who you are. You are a swamp-person and you will never have a clean room or a productive life. You realise that willpower is the bane of your existence and that you'll probably spend your life in your bed, sleeping, eating cookie after cookie and watching Sex And The City re-runs. Is this really the life you want to live? Do you not crave MORE?
Not really. That sounds fucking class actually, back to sleepy magical cookie dream land I go.
Summer Expectations Vs. Reality! (Video)