The CollegeTimes Winter Survival Guide

As the old saying goes, it's a bit 'chilly on the willy' out there and it's expected to only get worse for the coming months. But don't worry, we have you sorted for getting through the cold winter period.

1. Walk incredibly slowly

Ireland typically doesn't get the festive blankets of snow like in the movies. Instead, there's a really shit type of snow (I believe that's the meteorological term) which is basically death traps made of bits of sleet and ice all over our paths.While it's hilarious seeing other people fall over, you don't want it to be you so always walk at a snail's pace yourself.


2. Spoon yourself

One of the many advantages of giving yourself a cuddle every night is that it will warm up your body temperature. Fewer activities will cater to both your heating and emotional needs, and what better way to get you through the lonely winter months?

3.Microwave your underwear

Not many people get all the full benefits of their household items, and who knew a simple microwave oven could be the answer to all your problems? An 800 watt microwave set to full power should give you a pair of steaming hot briefs in just under 30 seconds.


4. Hold it in

One of the major dilemmas facing us is needing to pee when it's too cold to get out of bed. There's not much you can do here except hold it in until you can't take it any longer. A trip to the toilet is inevitable, so just ignore this problem for as long as you possibly can. Peeing in the bed degrades us all, you're better than that!

David Keenan
Article written by
D.I.T and N.U.I.M graduate, socially retarded but a nice lad nonetheless

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