The Girl Code, the general guide to how all female friends or friends of friends should act when in certain situations...not to be confused with The Bro Code, which in some ways (or at least some people will tell you) is the polar opposite of The Girl Code. But it's not is it? On the surface you'd like us to think it's all roses between you and your besties but I've had my eye on the "code" for a while now and I don't think it runs as deep as ours. Here's understanding The Girl Code through the eyes of a guy.
Rule - No hating on other women that you don’t know.
Well, I suppose starting on a note likes this and how often in my experience women actually stick to it, the only place we can go is up. Sneering and bitching about another woman just because her tan may be a little bit Oompa Loompa like or because she looks like a fawn dancing in high heels is completely uncalled for...
Rule - No hating on other women’s success.
The only place was meant to be up, unfortunately were headed straight into the eyes of a storm, a big green with envy she hulk storm... You're meant to be supportive of your mates right? We as guys go with high fives and drink celebrations, you do similar but inside you're all seething, especially when Joanna gets that position you were hoping you'd get, you're as jealous as you were the day she got exactly the same balayage (see, I know shit about girls hair, I'm on top of this) as you wanted, the day after you told her you were getting one...SHE HULK SMASH
Rule - Figure out your group’s “man rules” before shit happens.
OK, we have rules with regards to women and so should you girls. Like, we can't be held responsible if we end up with your best friend a week after we were with you when we had never met any of you before in our lives. This is a you problem and you need to keep your house in check first before you go all cray cray in my face.
Rule - Presence is required if a friend has been dumped.
See if I'm a guy and my choice is a) go on a night out to see what I can get up to or b) tend to a friend who has just been dumped I will always go with the option that hasn't been presented to me in c) combine both a and b and bring my dumped friend on the night out to see what we can both get up to. This will take his mind off what has happened and is 100% more effective than consuming litre after litre of Ben and Jerry's Phish food as you spiral deeper into Bridget Jones mode.
Rule - If your friend has recently been dumped or rejected, they get a weekend of doing whatever they want with you looking after them.
Perhaps, but in a way that is reflected in the previous point. We're not going to leave any negative vibes jump in the way of our weekends...and it works a lot better than wallowing in self pity.
Rule - Honesty is the best policy for, “How do I look?”
Oh yeah sure it is...maybe you lot are able to comment on the size of each others breasts and criticise each others costumes while getting ready for a night out and that's great but there isn't a hope in hell I get that privilege. If I do react in that way to a question from you I will 1. get a slap in the face for mentioning the size of your breasts and 2. probably not be spoken to for a week because I gave the "honesty is the best policy" answer of "yes darling, your bum looks humongous in that"... It's kind of hard to compare it to a guy situation because we don't comment on each other's breasts or ask about our bums looking big in a pair of slacks...unless we happen to be from the cast of Geordie Shore/Jersey Shore/Tallaghtfornia.
Rule - If a girl looks intoxicated and looks like she needs a friend, be her friend.
OK this one I am all for and is often put into action to the letter. I have seen many of you come to the rescue of girls that you do not know. I may be a dickhead but I am certainly not a creepy sleaze bag who tries it on with wasted girls. We are in agreement girls...for once ;)
Rule - When required, be a wing woman.
I'm not sure what the balance is for a wing woman really. Some come across extremely crazy and others just as mutes...either way if a guy is into you, you won't need a wing woman as much as if the situation was reversed. Wing women are often on the clock a lot less than wing men...in my experience.
Rule - "That Time Of The Month” Sympathies.
Maybe you offer sympathies to each other and that's fine, but for us to offer a sympathetic ear would she the return of the she hulk we mentioned early...well somewhere between her and Godzilla.
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