There are celebrities, they are on the loose, they are rampant, and they have something that they would desperately like to promote. In order for them to do this, they have become ensconced - either of their own volition, or due to various contractual obligations - in the chat-show circuit. They may seem as though they would like to appear on these chat-shows simply to share with you, the viewer, a pithy anecdote about the time they accidentally drove over a hornet's nest in a golf-cart, or when they were accosted by an infuriated antique salesman at a car-boot sale, but this is little more than a front. The real reason for their visit is to help promote their latest film, album or home bee-keeping kit that they are releasing. Do not become distracted from this truth.
With tht in mind, here's the line-up for tonight's Graham Norton Show. There will be, and I simply can't over-emhpasise just how apt this upcoming phrase will prove to be, four guests on the show. Chris Hemsworth and Paul Rudd will be there to shovel coal onto the greedy and firey engines of the Avengers: Endgame hype train, in which they star as Thor and Ant-Man respectively. Julilanne Moore will also be plying the sofa with her presence. Her motives for doing so are to make you aware of the fact that she has starred in the upcoming film Gloria Bell. To directly quote from the website of Gloria Bell - as I was painfully unaware as to what it concerned - 'Gloria is a free-spirited divorcée who spends her days at a straight-laced office job and her nights on the dance floor, joyfully letting loose at...'. This is where Google cut off the preview text from the site and, from this description, I lacked the compulsion to click in and read more - though I'm sure we will be further enlightened should we tune in tonight.
There will also be Kit Harrington and Emilia Clarke, they will be attendant. Their presence marks the impending release of the first episode of the eighth and final season of Game Of Thrones, or 'The Saviour Of The Northern Irish Tourist Board', as it is also known.
If you have gotten this far into the article and assumed that there wouldn't be someone also entering into the fray whose sole purpose would be to sing in the studio, then you my friend, really need to get more familiar with the format of The Graham Norton Show. Tom Walker will be there. Tom Walker will be there to sing his new track 'Just You and I'. He may subsequently join the other guests on the sofa to engage in some end of show banter. Though he also may not. It is impossible to say without having seen the show - though that situation can be easily remedied.
The Graham Norton Show airs at 11.15pm tonight on BBC One.