Liquid assets - if you're in desperate need of some in order to stave off penury and bankruptcy then oh boy, have you come to the right place. If you are undergoing something of a drought in this department, then consider this article our attempt at constructing some kind of improvised sluice to bring a veritable tsunami of liquid assets your way.
We have trawled the internet and now, like fishermen, we are presenting our catch, except, instead of our nets being full of fish irresponsibly sourced from rapidly depleting stocks, they are full of part-time jobs available around Ireland.
1) Dublin, Retail Sales Assistant, The Homecare Store - Part-Time
If you have what it takes to assist in retail sales then you simply need click on this link and cease reading this article so that you may apply, as we have no further business.
2) Dublin, Sales Assistant, Craghoppers - Part-Time
Given that Craghoppers are largely responsible for some of the finest outdoorsy trousers money can be, this job represents perhaps the highest possibility of any in this list that you may at some stage sell trousers to Bear Grylls. Depending on your views on whether this'd be a positive experience or not, this will either be a deal-clincher or breaker for the position.
3) Cork, Barr Staff [sic], Lee Valley Golf and Country Club - Part-Time
Due to the nature of the typo of this job, I am presuming that it means they are looking for staff for the bar in their golf club. There is a smaller, but not insignificant, possibility that they are actually looking for someone to act as staff for controversial American comedian Roseanne Barr - however again, this is very unlikely. Apply here.
4) Letterkenny, Retail Sales Assistant, Fonez - Part-Time
Selling touchscreen smartphones is a trade as old as the idea of business itself. Learn the sales techniques and practices passed down through generations of smartphone-sellers that were first learned by the Master Salespeople of the Smartphone Guild of Masters, estd. 1570. Apply here.
5) Galway, Sales Assistant, Thistles Bridal Store - Part-Time
If you've a passion for preserving the institution of marriage then this is the job for you. Working as a part-time sales assistant in a bridal store provides you with an opportunity to have hands-on help with assisting the bride-to-be in the most important decisions she'll make. From helping her choose her own dress and the gowns for her bridesmaids, all the way to surreptitiously assisting her plan how she'll jilt her husband when she gets cold feet; it really will be a privilege working at the coal-face of weddings.
6) Galway, Sales Assistant, Mountain Warehouse - Part-Time
Most people presume mountains to be formed by complex geological processes involving the buckling of tectonic plates. This, however, is a common misconception. All the mountains of the world are actually all stored, and shipped, from a warehouse in Galway. (Mountain Warehouse is actually yet another outdoor clothing brand, you can apply here.)
7) Wexford, Retail Assistant, Penneys - Part-Time
It's time. It's time for you to work in Penneys. Embrace it. Embrace that you are now working in Penneys. Avail of whatever staff discounts they presumably have. Embrace it, you are now a Penneys worker.