If you're reading this, give yourself a pat on the back because you've survived today, the dreaded day everyone had to go back to work after the Christmas holidays.
No more Slade blaring on the radio, no more practicing your smiley face when you get Kris Kindle presents. The festive season is all but a distant memory.
Tuesday Jan 2 was a day of emotional turbulence for many reasons, the main reasons being.
1. The fear was real
Hands up anyone who got a good night's sleep last night? Me neither.
From drinking your weight in tea and booze to eating Romantica for breakfast (don't even get us started on the fact that the ice-cream has changed), your diet's all over the shop. Coupled by the fact that you've been sleeping to noon and have no clue what day it is, is it any wonder your anxiety levels are sky-high?
All you know is, someone at work was out to get you and no amount of binging on Netflix could ease your worries. Which brings me to the next one.
2. You couldn't watch Netflix at a moment's notice
Although some bosses are sound, there might be a few raised eyebrows if The Sinner flashed up on your computer during work hours. Particularly if it broke to the dominatrix sex scenes.
Unfortunately, you had to wait a whole eight hours before you could get binge watch your favourites at home. Like some kind of hostage.
3. All the questions
I know right! Absolutely no consideration for your feelings that they would just shut the f**k up. How was your Christmas? Did you do anything for New Years?
Each time you were presented with a question, the anxiety went up a notch.
4. It's January
Officially like. New years resolutions January, eat healthy January, dry January, broke January.
5. The goodies are few and far between
Bar the abandoned remnants of a Celebrations box (cough, bounties), the chocolate is few and far between. It's like there's been some kind of embargo or something.
Where were the roses like? To quote Ross Gellar: This is not good for my rage!!!