Are you prepared for college? If you answered yes, then you may as well just fast forward three years and collect that degree now, because anyone who is prepared for college this early (anything over a week before college starts is considered early, in my books), will be committed to the cause, dedicated, hard working and above all, organised. For the 95% of you with nothing organised, here is the ultimate girls college checklist, tick them off one by one and let the countdown to non stop drinking commence.
1) A Decent Bag
For all of your book, snack and laptop needs.
2) Good Stationary
For pretending to take notes when really, you'll just be planning tonight's shenanigans.
3) A Large Stash Of Teabags
You're going to drink more tea than you ever, ever have before.
4) Casual Clothes
If your wardrobe consists mainly of an old school uniform and five glittery dresses, then go buy some jeans and stuff.
5) A Proper Haircut
It'll be about 8 months before this happens again.
6) Proper Bedding
Seeing as your bed is where you'll spend most of first year, invest in some decent sheets.
7) Good Underwear
Because being a prepared optimist is never a bad thing.
8) Clothes Hangers
Well you sure as shit aren't going to iron them now, are you?
9) 17 Blankets
There's cold and then there's student house cold.
10) A Sturdy Laptop
If it can withstand vodka flash floods, it's a winner.
11) A Hip Flask
I can foresee many sneaky naggin nights ahead.
12) A Pack Of Cards
Kings. That's all I can say on this matter.
13) An Alarm Clock
Save your phone the trauma of being thrown at the wall morning after morning. There are no parental screams to wake you from your slumber now.
14) A Water Loving Pair Of Shoes
Wet feet plus no hot water at home equals a miserable day ahead...
15) Loads Of Socks
Warm feet are happy feet.
16) Good Headphones
To block out the sounds of your housemate getting lucky and stuff.
17) A Mattress Protector
Have you ever SEEN a student mattress?
18) A Bedside Lamp
In the unlikely event that you'll pull, know that harsh student lighting does nobody any favours.
19) Cutlery & Crockery
Because what's likely to be there already will have been used for many unspeakable acts.
20) Smell Masking Devices
Oust, candles, car freshener, whatever you can come up with.
Also can be used as extra bedding when the cold sets in.
For all of your pre-drinking, house party, housemate blocking needs.
23) Any Alcohol
This one needs no explanation.
24) Any Cupboard Fillers You Can Steal From Home
Hungry times lie ahead, so stock up.
25) A Warm Hoodie/Cardigan/Onesie/Hat/Scarf
Seriously, you can't even imagine how cold you're going to be. Picture going to bed in five layers plus a hat and still being numb from the neck down and you're only halfway there.
26) A Good Face Wash
Drink plus bad diet plus too much make up, leads to spots. Wash away the problems before they start and you're sorted.